Moonlight Dance

MOONLIGHT DANCE

In Manipur on the last day of ‘Holi’ festival, there is a big dance event called ‘Thabal Chongba’ at night. The literal meaning is ‘moonlight dance’. It is organised in every locality. Though the name is moonlight dance, there is an open ground well lit with artificial lights and there, young men and women in their early twenties or late teens will make a big circle by holding hands and dance together to the beating drums and clarinets following the traditional steps. The women are required to wear decent traditional attire.

On one such occasion, a group of women stood out from the rest of the womenfolk participating in the dance. The reason was their very fashionable attire. Though all of them were in traditional dresses, the way they wore them was so different from the indistinct others. For some, the blouses had deep necklines; the traditional sarong was worn well below the navel, etc., etc. Their hairstyles were out of this world and the general stature was well above the average women. On closer look, one realized that they belonged to the third gender. Striking, bold and beautiful! This was a little hard to take for the ostensibly conservative Meitei society.

So, the organisers made an announcement over the loudspeakers that the traditional dance required women to dress in a conservative manner and so the particular group of people should refrain from participating as their apparel and sense of fashion was hurting the sensitivity of the society. This angered them so much that even though they left the scene, they made a police complaint straight away citing harassment and discrimination.

The police heard their side of the story and tried to glean the substance of the matter. The agitated group somewhat calmed down and went back after the police reassured them that they would look into the matter. Being late, they decided to take up the matter the next day. 

The next day, a group of young women, barely out of their teens, came in an auto rickshaw. About ten of them stepped down from just one auto rickshaw. All of them had such young and innocent faces and were all very modestly attired. The police already knew that they were the group against whom the previous night‘s complaint was filed. Seeing their faces, the police realized that they were just kids devoid of the art of manipulation, much less talk of subjecting someone to harassment and discrimination.

The dilemma for the police was how to find a way of tackling this sensitive situation. Neither parties were entirely wrong or for that matter right. So, a compromise was called for. Just at that moment, the last night’s group arrived at the scene and a noisy argument followed between the two groups. The third gender argued that they had undergone so much pain and mutilation under the surgeon’s knife just to become the women they truly were inside and so had the right to enjoy the fruit of their labour and thus to dress and behave as the ultimate woman of their dreams. Whereas, the naturally born young women objected saying that there is something called decency and the cultural sensitivity of a particular society. One just cannot dress and behave like the femme fatale portrayed in movies as it hurts the prestige of all women. 

A prolonged argument went on and on and finally both parties were tired and the police took advantage of their exhaustion. Offering them glasses of cool water, the mature policewomen told both parties that it was better to end the matter there instead of taking it to the court. Neither of them was wrong, co-existence means living together and it requires adjustment and making some compromises here and there. Since their own relatives, mothers and fathers were also hurt by the overt accentuation of womanhood, the third gender should also be a little more sensitive while dressing up even if they like to go a little further. At the same time the young women should also be a little more accommodative and understand the sentiments of their ‘sisters’.

Maybe, it was the exhaustion after extensive wrangling or the sense and sensibility of the negotiation, both parties agreed and the dispute was resolved. I drew the conclusion that there is hardly any winner in a negotiation but a compromise from both sides is always called for. However, I have drawn the most important conclusion and that is... ‘Half the success of a negotiation is in the timing!’