A sort of Condolence

 

A sort of Condolence

A doctor friend of mine is a popular practitioner in his neighborhood. His humble and modest nature and helpful attitude make people like him a lot. He also truly honors people’s trust in him. Here’s one incident that proves the point.

There’s a man in his locality, who has been quite helpful to him, like working as a driver for him and dropping his daughter to school, running small errands, etc. Moreover, the two families have been associated for a long time helping each other in their own days.

One day, the father of this man passed away. ‘Shradh’ ceremony is usually held on the 14^th day. We have the practice of visiting the deceased’s family atleast once before the ceremony. The busy doctor always thought of visiting him but never could make it due to his tight schedule and with one thing or the other always coming up, the final day came. He tried ringing up all his close friends to ask about the date of the ceremony but everyone seemed to be busy and so did not pick up his calls.

Expecting the Shradh to be held on the 14^th day, he finally went to his house to pay him the customary visit. As luck would have it, the doctor saw the paraphernalia of Shradh ceremony going on and he was quite surprised because it was only the 11^th day but he suddenly realized that some sects perform the ritual on the 11^th day also. Rituals and prayers were going on which were meant only for family members and the major ceremony would follow in the later part of the day where guests could participate.  And so, feeling dejected he returned home. He proceeded to his office after that but remorse continually tugged at his mind and he somehow decided to go back again and attend the later part of the ceremony.

So, taking time out from his office he rushed back to the same place again. But, as is usual with a busy man’ life, time was never on his side. No one could be seen near the place of the ceremony. All the friends and neighbors seemed to have gone back. Determined to meet the man at least this time, he went up to the man who was in fact quite surprised to see him! Because, no one visits after the end of the ceremony as it is forbidden.

My friend, the doctor gave his apologies which was readily accepted as he was well loved by the community. We also have the custom of giving some financial help to the bereaved family which can be of any amount. So, he pressed some money into his friend’s hand while talking. The man was again surprised because money is not accepted after the ceremony is over and he was thus afraid to take it as it may bring him misfortune.

But the doctor was feeling really sad and awkward not having visited in time and not being able to be of any help again. So, in order to overcome the awkwardness, the thoughtful man extended an advanced invitation to the first monthly feast which would be held the next month.

Some condolence indeed! All he wanted to do was share in his grief and extend solidarity and support in his time of loss and need but instead ended up inviting himself to a feast where the role of the guest is just to partake of the meal without any expectation of financial contribution.

 

--Memchoubi Phanjoubam